"It's the Inside That Counts"

Before I go on my irritated rant about this apparent cliche, let me say first that substance, intangibles, and the overall inner qualities of a person CAN NOT be overlooked, regardless of how attractive the person may be. So yes, the "it's the inside that counts," expression definitely holds a ton of merit. I'll even go as far to say that intangibles are more enduring than one's outer appearance. Looks will eventually fade.

When one is asked what they look for in a mate, naturally, one of the first things they mention is the person's looks. I don't know anyone who would (honestly) say that they want someone they don't find attractive. The ones who say or do such things, typically either lack self-esteem and will take anybody, and/or they have a hidden agenda.

 Personally, I believe there has to be something outwardly appealing that initiates attraction. They don't have to be drop dead gorgeous or a lady killer, but there has to be something there that will  initially draw you to that person. You can't see their inner qualities at first sight, you'll only find out where their head is (i.e. their personality, mindset, and attitude) afterwards.

But you have individuals who seem to think that the inside is all that counts, and I say that's bullsh*t. People can say whatever they want, when looking for a mate, looks are a factor. No, you shouldn't stop there, that's only the shallow end of the pool, but appearance is a factor. As soon as you say something about appearance, here they come, set your watch to it: "You guys need to stop focusing on looks," or "It's the inside that counts."

They have this idea that one could look like a one-eyed martian, as long as they have an astounding personality, you should take them. Miss me with that foolishness. Another ploy that's used in this is shaming/pressure tactics. They attempt to make you feel guilty about YOUR personal preference, mind you, by ways of criticism, and in some cases, try to get you to settle and take the first person that smiles at you or shows you any attention beyond a smile.

I noticed a pattern that I find kind of funny with these individuals. Some of them who spew that rhetoric, tend to have someone who is attractive. He or she may not be a perfect 10, but they're not ugly. Since it's just the "inside that counts,"  I would like to see these substance warriors take someone who is unattractive.

I would like to see if the inside still counts if a celebrity they're head-over-heels in love with, had a mangled face. He or she could have a pleasant, down-to-earth personality among other good qualities, these people know good and well they would turn them down, if that were the case. It would be automatic if the celebrity is someone who is deemed as ugly by most people.

I think some of them use that saying as a deflection, by that I mean to shield others from their low self-esteem. They're not confident or comfortable in their skin, and if you say anything concerning appearance, they're quick to utter "it's the inside that counts." Whatever.

This could very well be a two-part blog; I'm seriously considering writing another blog concerning this subject. I'm almost to the point where hearing people say, "it's the inside that counts," is becoming just as annoying as those who tell blacks to "get over slavery." While I believe there's a lot of truth in the inner person being very important, I think those who try to make it the only thing is full of sh*t. No, looks aren't everything, but substance isn't the only thing.