IMO: What Do Women Want?

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This post was drafted 6/6/2019. I originally wrote it for a Men's website designed for brothers that I was trying to become a writer for, but I never heard back from the individual. He told me he read it, and I've never heard anything from him since concerning whether or not I was accepted as a writer for the website, so after a while, I took it as a no and kept moving. Anyway, I decided to post it here on my social commentary blog. I've meaning to do this for months, but other projects I was working on pushed it back.

What do women want? What do women really want? These are one of the topics that has been up for debate on and off YouTube for years, aside from the most recently Cold Approach vs. Choosing Signals. Well, I think the latter mostly debated on YouTube. Anyway, part of what inspired me to talk about this was a video I saw on YouTube recently where three models— whose names I remember, but I’m keeping them nameless— were being interviewed.

From my experience of communicating with women, and from what I’ve witnessed, I’ve come to the conclusion that collectively, they don’t know what the hell they want, and I’m learning to take a lot of what they say with a grain of salt because they tend to be contradictive.

Their thoughts and emotions fluctuate from second-to-second. They could want clean-cut one day, then a man with a more rugged appearance the next, then someone more “nerdy with an edge” the following day. Strawberry ice cream one second, chocolate ice cream a fraction of a second later.
This takes me back to the interview. Quick side note: I’m paraphrasing what was said; this is not word-for-word.

The question was asked what they look for or find attractive in a man. The first woman, who I thought looked decent and had a nice body, from what I saw, stated that she wanted a god-fearing man, one who will treat her right, has respect, and is respectable. When I heard this, my immediate thought was, “She’s full of shit.”

The second woman said something along the lines of having good energy, and how you tend to be who you attract. She mentioned the guy having a sense of humor. She said that she’s not into “players,” but she has dated and is attracted to athletes— guys who tend to be players and womanizers. Wait. What? You see what I mean?

The third woman was asked a different question. I thought she was the best looking one and I thought her answers were more sensible in comparison to the first two. She was asked about the guys who complain about women that go for the complete opposite of who they claim they don’t want, meanwhile, they don’t have a criminal background, make decent-to-good money, have their own place, yet these women still go for the opposite.

She responded that she has heard about the chicanery on both sides and believes that there’s truth on both ends. I thought that was a bit of a deflection on her end, but I agree with the statement in and of itself. Well, as I heard a YouTuber say, “Two things can be right at the same time,” and I think this is one of those rare cases. She admitted that she has witnessed women who go for the “bad boys,” citing their reason is because they want someone more “edgy.” There was a lot more discussed in the video, but I wanted to touch on the more direct questions in the beginning.


Off the bat, there are a few traits, one specifically, that a woman will say she’s looking for or find attractive in a man that I believe. The first (and specific) is confidence. I typically hear this as part of their criteria; they don’t want a weak, cowardly, spineless man, and I don’t blame them for that.

The second is assertion. I’ve heard some say that they want a man who’s assertive or not afraid to assert himself but isn’t overly masculine. For the most part, I believe that. As a bonus, I’ll throw in sense of humor. This is another one I often hear from women. You can usually get along very well with a woman if you’re witty and have a sense of humor. Not overly silly but being able to make her laugh, having good comedic timing.

The rest of it as such “god-fearing,” “treating them right,” and being “respectful,” for the most part, is said because it sounds good and it makes them look like a “good person.” It impresses those who don’t know any better. When I’ve asked women what they look for, they typically rattle off the same bullshit, and most of it I don’t believe. What they say they want and what they actually get tend to be two totally different things.