Would You Date or Marry a "Church" Woman?

Photo Credit: Diana Simumpande/ Unsplash.

I was listening to a livestream about three weeks ago, and the subject came up about dealing with a "church" woman. Some of the observations that were discussed moved me to expand on those talking points. Before I begin, let me say that I'm NOT saying that I wouldn't date women who come from these environments, however, this is my outlook of the upside and downside of dating this type of woman.

The upside, at least on the surface, of dating/marrying a "church" woman is they have a mind to live right and separate themselves from the worldly women in terms of lifestyle. They tend to have a better grasp of the concept and structure of family.

The catch-22 to this-- and this will take me into the downside of dealing with them-- is there's a percentage of them who are closet freaks, and are worse than the ones walking around damn near naked. For some them, the dresses, skirts, headwraps, etc., are merely a fashion statement. They're trying to appear one way when they're actually the opposite. This is the reason why I say, "at least on the surface."

The downside of dating or being married to them is that they tend to be mindfucked parrots. She's like a verbal plagiarist. I mean, damn near word-for-word. Regardless of what you say, ask or do, she repeats what her pastor said. Everything out of her hot damn mouth is something her pastor said. I understand the concept of a pastor's position of authority, and showing them proper honor, I get that. However, they do this so much to where you wonder if they have a mind of their own or do they ever think for themselves.

If you're married to one, it becomes a form of cuckoldry. He apparently runs your relationship, marriage and household. She has more respect and regard for him than she does for her husband-- aside from the no-good husbands, I'm not referring to them. She shouldn't marry a guy like that anyway.

It gets to the point where you're like, "Fuck off. Go screw your pastor, then-- if you're not doing that already." They can have just as much attitude as the women in the streets. Like I said, the only thing that separates some of them are the dress codes.

While there can be some pros to being in a relationship with a "church" woman, the cons are infuriating to deal with. Obviously, there are exceptions to what I've described. I don't think all of them are that way, but too many of them are that way. Not saying that I want an atheist or a "devil," but you also have to be careful when choosing to deal with religious women.

The Great Wonderer: Random Thoughts & Burning Questions

This post will basically be bullet points of some thoughts and questions that have crossed my mind over the years and recently. Before I begin, I'll say this: I don't know everyone from every race or gender, so there is no way I'm referring to everyone from a specific demographic, so please, spare me with the "don't generalize" bullshit. Anyway, without further ado, some random thoughts from the Great Wonderer.

• The Great Dichotomy: Isn't it interesting how they tell you "Never Forget," (9/11) but are quick to tell you "Get Over It" (slavery) in the same breath?

• Why do black people love Eminem so much?

• Apparently, it's okay for women to have choices, standards, and the ability to turn men down, but it's a problem for men to have standards and choices....

• ...which leads me to the next point. I find it absolutely incredible how incorrigible a lot of black women are. You can't say anything to most of them. I'm not talking about calling them a b*tch, a whore, or any other word that would be considered a personal insult. It could be an honest and fair critique or opinion, if they don't like it, here comes the same stupid, childish, shaming language. "You don't have this, you have that," "You're in no position to say this and that." (Side note: I intend to do a full post on this point in the future)

• So when does one have to be making 25 figures in order to have a hot damn opinion! Please! GTFOH with that bullshit!

• White folks talk about these black players "disrespecting the flag." While I do question the players intentions, from another angle, it's amazing how they can disrespect and mistreat us, but want us to have this undying devotion and respect for their shit. Once again, please! GTFOH with that bullshit!

• The reason the players said they're protesting is because of the police brutality and other injustices black deal with. No one said ANYTHING about the hot damn military! Stop with that strawman argument!

• Apparently, we live in a country that cares more about dogs and a damn flag than it does people.

• It's amazing how people can clown you eight ways to Sunday, but the moment you shoot something back at them, the game changes.

• It's sad how petty some people can be. Bat an eye lash, and they go run and tell.

• I'm beginning to see more men do things that I expect from women...

• ...for example, women have a reputation for being gossipy and messy. More and more, I'm beginning to see that men can be just as messy. Don't get me wrong, that's not good look for women, but it's absolutely pathetic to see men doing that.

• I find it funny how women--not saying other women aren't like this, but I've seen it mostly in black women-- say they want this clean-cut, handsome, assertive, upstanding guy (nothing's wrong with that) but are quick to get with Mr. Sagging Pants (i.e. a street dude) the total opposite of what they claim they're looking for in a man.

• What I find even funnier is when they expect you to jump through all these hoops to get them, but expect you to accept them as is.

• Woman aren't attracted to a strong mind; I think most of them respect a strong mind, but they're attracted to a strong personality.

• By the way, you can have both. You can have a strong mind and personality.

• You do not have to be a "thug" to be assertive.

• People say: "Expect the unexpected." Sounds ideal, but that's easier said than done.

• The saying is, "fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you." Personally, I think it's the other way around. If someone get the drop on you once, that's one thing, you ought know better next time and be on the lookout for it. If you do it twice, that's on you. You should've learned from before.

• (Another Great Dichotomy) You have women who pose practically nude if not totally nude online and for magazines-- not to mention the twerk videos- for the world to see, yet want to be treated with the same respect as a refined, respectable woman would be. (Side Note: Another point I intend to do a separate blog on)

• People don't consider the other person until they're in that person's position or situation. Until then, that person (somehow) is the problem, he or she is the one at fault.

• Yes, I agree black folks need to held accountable for their dysfunctional actions; however, so do the people who are the root cause of the dysfunction.

• White people-- and unfortunately some blacks-- cry about how blacks blame them for everything. Well, who put these retarded laws and policies in place? It wasn't blacks. They create chaos, but don't want to accept accountability for them.

• Have you ever had a phone conversation, and the person you're talking to says something so stupid or states the obvious, that you look at the phone as if the phone did something?

So, that's it, for now. I'll probably be back with another edition; there are way too many thoughts-- and questions, but mostly thoughts-- that come to my mind. This is far from the only burning questions and random thoughts in my mind.