Vaccination Slap

You know, I keep saying that I'm going to leave this TWOY Synagogue foolishness alone because there are some things I want to save for the book (i.e. addressing more situations and people), but I seem to keep getting more ammo about this clown, who I will mention momentarily, and that bullshit organization he's running. Some info I received I will save for the book, but I couldn't save this one.

A couple of days ago, someone brought to my attention a video that he briefly watched by Henry "Tony" Smith, a dictating, megalomaniac cunt whose congregation I once was--and happily no longer--a member of, and stuff like this is one of the reasons why.

Apparently, he asked his members if they received the vaccination shot that has been pushed hard by the media for over a year to supposedly combat the Covid-19 (AKA Corona Virus) that went rampant last year. I'm paraphrasing, but he basically tells them they can get it, but he will slap the piss out of them if they do. When I heard about this, one of my thoughts was, Same ol' controlling bitch ass.

Now, personally, I'm skeptical of the vaccination thing myself, however, I think that's up to that individual whether or not they decide to get it. These people are adults, and they're allowing this man control and paternalize them. It was stuff like this that I started to notice about him my last few years there, and thinking back, I said this once before, and I'll say it again: it was best I go. For the most part, I have a free-will approach, and he's controlling, so it was only a matter of time before we were at odds.

What I heard is sad, pathetic, and (kind of) funny at the same time. What's worse is despite everything, these people still sit there. Stuff like this is why I'm glad he got rid of me. On a side note, I heard he has been puffing marijuana in there, too. Perhaps it's "medical," but I can't stand any type of smoke, whether it's cigarettes, cigars, weed/marijuana, etc. The more stuff I hear, the more I'm glad to no longer be there. As far as the vaccination goes, I think it's free will, or at least it should be. I don't support forcing people to get it, but I also don't support someone dictating whether or not someone should get it.

I see nothing's changed but the weather in there. I thank him for getting rid of me. I couldn't thank him enough for that. My anger stems from how I was treated when I was there. So with that being that said, it leads me to something that I want to say to him, and this won't be my last time saying this: Thank you...fuck you, but thank you at the same time.

You Didn't Dodge a Bullet, You Dodged a Missile, Part II

Demar Dotson.

I've mentioned before that I don't plan on doing many more posts on my experience in that shit hole called The Way of Yah Synagogue, and this post could be the one that leads to me writing a book regarding my experience in religion. There's only so many posts one can write about one subject. In my case, a book is a lot easier than putting out a bunch of blogs, and it's something I've been contemplating for a while.

I won't reveal the name of the book or when it will be released, but everything in the book will cover the things that I've talked about in my blogs concerning my experience in religion, particularly my experience at The Way of Yah Shitagogue, plus I will go more in-depth with some situations that took place.

Now, I didn't plan on doing a part two for this, but something came to mind the other night that I forgot about. I remember their "pastor" Henry Smith saying how he has all of these celebrities/athletes who watch him, as a matter of fact, one of his former members played in the NFL-- who will remain nameless-- and I remember one particular athlete who came through during one of the, as they used to call it,  "feast days" for a visit.

His is name Demar Dotson. He recently played offensive tackle for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFL. Demar, perhaps you didn't see me the week you visited, but you had on an all-black attire the night I saw you, and if you ever come across this post, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told the young man in my previous post: You didn't miss anything. You didn't miss shit. If anything, not only did you dodge a bullet, you dodged a missile.

You will be well received at first, well, being an NFL athlete, you probably would've been treated with more esteem, but in general, they will receive you as one of their own, make you feel as if they're closer than a family, then as time goes on, you will eventually see the masks fall off and find out that this "man of the Most High" is an arrogant, self-righteous, sadistic prick, and most of his members are a bunch of grimey, backstabbing bastards.

Some might say, "You're just mad because you got put out." Uh-uh. On the contrary. My anger comes from how I was treated. In retrospect, I'm glad he booted me off the plantation. They can have it. I don't have to worry about following those goofy rules and restrictions, and I don't have to sit through countless hours of hearing fairy tales from a book, followed by countless hours of pointless, bullshit meetings. To whoever my "replacement" is, I say to you, better you than me.

Overall, you did yourself a huge favor by not joining them. You saved yourself time, years and money. I wish I would've done the same. I made a huge mistake getting involved with those monkeys, but I've learned from it, and I will keep moving forward.

To Elijah: You Didn't Dodge a Bullet, You Dodged a Missile

The Flash (DC Comics).

I was on YouTube, and there's a channel that has nearly 1,000 videos, and I'll say at least 95 percent of those videos are dedicated to exposing one man. I understand; people like this guy have been ripping off our people for years, but a lot of so-called black folks tend to give him a pass because he has rocked them to sleep with his strong speech and "swag." I could go on about how goofy that is, but that's for another blog.

I understand this woman's determination to make people like him no more, so to speak, but on the surface, posting that many videos concerning one man can make one look like a psychotic stalker. I say that to say a lot of posts on this blog lately have been on my experiences at that shit hole called The Way of Yah Synagogue-- if the name hasn't changed again.

My purpose(s) for doing this is to get things off my chest that went down during my time there, stuff that I've held in for years, because I was caught up in that "greater good," "bigger picture" bullshit and to tell my side of the story. I don't plan on doing many more blogs on that shit hole called a synagogue, and I'm definitely not going to post that many blogs, but I said going into this that this was going to be a slow cook, so I will bide my time and take my time with this.

I contacted another former member a few months ago (the person will remain nameless) and they told me that they miss some people, but they don't miss the way (i.e. the religious lifestyle that was taught). I can't say that I miss anyone, if I do, I can count on one hand how many, and when I think back on it, I don't miss those goofy ass rules either. You can't do this, you can't go to this place because it was named after and "referenced" to some god (e.g. Apollo Theater) you can't cut your hair or beard a certain way, etc. Although there are certain things I still hold to such as not celebrating holidays-- to me, it's pointless-- but overall, I'm glad to be free of that bullshit.

Another thing, I have said in previous posts or videos that I don't hate their "pastor" Tony Smith, but I have to come clean about it. I was lying to myself. I can't stand that motherfucker. I put my trust in him, and I came to him showing nothing but respect. That trust was betrayed and the respect wasn't reciprocated. The respect I had for him is down the drain.

Now, on with the subject. Around 2014, there was a young man named Elijah-- I never knew his last name-- who was very interested in joining the then-Way of God Church. Long story short, this is a young man who, if I'm not mistaken, had an opportunity to go to college on a swimming scholarship, but was willing to walk away from all of that despite protests from his family to join the congregation.

About two years later, according to their "pastor" Tony Smith, "The Most High" revealed unto to him (allegedly) that this young man was not getting in (i.e. joining the now-synagogue). I'm sure this young man was devastated by this "revelation," but Elijah, in case you ever read this, let me tell you something: you didn't miss anything. You didn't miss shit.

They will treat like one of their own at first (seemingly) better than your immediate family, but give it a few months or years, you would've seen the masks fall off and discovered that the man who is supposed to be your "spiritual leader" and "watchman for your soul" is nothing more than an arrogant, self-righteous, sadistic prick, and most of his members are a bunch of cut-throat, treacherous motherfuckers.

In the end, what you would've ran into would've been a complete waste of time, years and money. Trust me, I know. I hope you didn't throw an opportunity at a great career away trying to follow that piece of shit and that fairy tale ass religion he put together. The more I think about it, the more I'm glad I'm no longer there. From my experience, you didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a missile.

Preaching to the Choir: Part Four: The Yes-Men

Sgt. Proctor (left) from the movie Police Academy. Big-time Yes-Men doing his boss' bidding.

Following up on the last post when I talked about the preacher's parrots, yes, a "parrot" in this case can be a man as well, but it's usually a woman. With that being said, here's the male version of the groveling and blind devotion. Not justifying it, but in some cases, it's done out of survival. They've been spellbound by the fear of committing this "cardinal sin" if they cross the man of whatever entity they serve put in leadership, so they put up with being belittled and verbal abuse disguised as "correction" or "jokes."

It reminds of my people back when slavery and racism was more overt. Despite the fucked up, demeaning way, to say the least, they were being treated by whitey, most of them put on a smile and accepted it out of survival, out of the fear of losing what little positions they had or even losing their lives. I don't co-sign them accepting being blatantly disrespected and mistreated-- again, to say the least-- but for the most part, that's the way it was at that particular time. Most of them endured it out of survival.

In some cases, I think that was the situation in the synagogue-- more like a shitagogue-- where I came from. Again, not justifying it, but I think some people endured or are still enduring it out of survival, out of the fear of not wanting to "cross the boss," and wind up "going to hell." However, a lot of them are natural butt kissers.

I remember there was another former member who referred to this megalomaniac's ministers as "yes men." Well, I can definitely say that for two of them. It was three ministers when I was there, I don't know if any have been added or decreased since then. The older guy was cool, but I know that bonbon head prick of a leader runs a hive-minded organization, so I know how that goes.

One a side note, the geechee, one of his ministers, was the one who low-key kickstarted the lie that I don't speak to people. This was followed by the blatant lie told by their "pastor." Then tiger paws-- I guess he still have that bullshit in his head-- the associate or assistant pastor, last I checked, did a sermon the following night, commenting on the slick: "If you don't speak to people, then you don't need to be here," perpetuating the lie told by his massa. He put it out there in general, but I knew he was talking about me.

The crazy part is, I spoke to those yes men, but because of the lie their massa told, his punk ass turned around and said what he said. That bugged-eyed bastard would berate and lambaste them, and they would just crawl back behind his ass like good ol' yes men. It was really bad with the male members of the congregation. One guy said he would take a bullet for that piece of shit. Wow. Really? Lol.

Another side note: Speaking of which, if his "prophesy" or whatever term he uses for it is true about someone in the congregation setting him up to be taken out-- which I think is bullshit; nobody's thinking about that bitch, he's just trying to make himself seem more important than he is-- whatever he gets he deserves.

Anyway, now that I'm thinking about it, some of the guys are just as bad as the women, doing any and everything to vie for their pastor's attention. I've seen dudes back-door, undercut and throw other dudes under the bus to try and score brownie points with their pastor. I've experienced and witnessed this.

I guess their "leader" was correct after all. He is "building men"...Yes-Men. People really need to be careful following Henry Smith and the many self-righteous cunts like him. All of the butt kissing and blind devotion shows that you will follow these jokers anywhere, as long as they put enough conviction behind what they're saying. Be careful because you could be following them off a cliff. I say that figuratively, but hey, you never know. There was the Guyana incident.

As a matter of fact, last I checked, Henry was talking about how eventually they will have to go back to what most know as Jerusalem. I don't know if he's still on that bullshit but I would definitely be leery. The more I think about it, the more I'm glad to be out of there and away from those arrogant, cut-throat folks. It wasn't all of them, but there were way too many of them.

In conclusion, aside from getting some things off my chest, one of the purposes of this series is because I know I'm not the only one who has experienced and/or witnessed these things in these religious organizations. Better yet, let's call most of them what they are, especially The Way of Yah: a shit hole.

I know there are people out who can relate to my experiences and have dealt with or are still dealing with the nonsense that goes on in these organizations. My next post isn't a part of the series, but to me, it will serve as a powerful, insightful conclusion.

Preaching to the Choir: Part Three: The Preacher's Parrots

Photo Credit: Roi Dimor on Unsplash.

I had no intention of writing a part three to this series, but here we go. I briefly touched on this subject in a post in July called, Would You Date or Marry a Church Woman? By "church" I mean a religious woman. On a side note, I should've used an image of former wrestling star Koko B. Ware and his parrot, Frank. That would've been a more accurate description.

This is not to say women from other ethnicities don't do this, but this is prevalent in "black" society. Any brother, whether he is or has been in a religious organization or not, has experienced this when dealing with religious women. When it comes to these preachers, these sisters tend to have a blind, undying devotion to them. Truth is, they tend to enable each other. He co-signs her foolishness and vice versa.

Anything that self-righteous prick says, she repeats it, almost on cue. Fellas, think about the last time you had a discussion, argument or debate with a woman you are/were dating or married to. At some point in the conversation, her response is typically going to start with something like this: "Preacher said this," "Pastor said that." It won't always start with that phrase literally, but if you're attending or attended the same congregation as she is, and you've paid attention to the pastor's rhetoric, you will realize all she did was merely repeat what he said. I had an experience like that, which I will touch on a little bit.

They're like verbal plagiarists. Regardless of what that man says, he could dead wrong, but he says with enough conviction, she will go along with-- and repeat it, sounding like naive, misguided children. It's as if she's his personal parrot or something. By the way, you don't have to date or be married to them to witness this, which brings me to the situation I referred to in the above paragraph.

The last religious organization I came from, I had a conversation with one of the women there. I asked her what she looks for in a man. Aside from the cliches they tend to quote to look like a "good person," she went on to tell me what she (claims) to look for in a man. I'm not sure if she thought I wasn't paying attention to anything that doofus said, but her response to me was the very thing I heard him to tell the women in there what they should for or expect from a man. I mean darn near word for word.

This happened about two years ago with this Grimace looking broad in the same congregation. Different conversation, same result. Being like-minded with someone is one thing, but merely repeating someone's talking points is something totally different, and religious women (BW mainly) do this so much I wonder, "Bitch, do you have a mind of your own?" "Do you ever think for yourself?"

Going back to mesmerizing of the masses by preachers I mentioned in Part Two, there's a saying that goes: "If someone can get in your mind, they can get in your ass." I'll make a slight adjustment and say if one's not careful, they can get in your ass, although I get the meaning behind the statement. Ironically, I heard that doofus preacher mentioned once when courting women, you have to get in their mind first.

I reverted to that statement to say this: not many are a bigger epitome of that saying than these preachers. They've been in the minds and eventually the asses of women for a long time-- and counting. If you decide to date or marry one of them, perhaps you should invest in a cage and some crackers.

Preaching to the Choir: Part Two: The Biggest Sorcerers Ever?

Photo Credit: SirTravelALot. Shutterstock Photos.

I sound like a broken record at this point, but I'll say it again: after being in religion and religious organizations for over 20 years, I understand why a lot of people lose faith and walk away from the whole thing altogether or never dealt with it in the first place. A lot of people have lost confidence in religion, particularly pastors, and as I've mentioned in a previous post, for a long time, I've been skeptical of most pastors, but after my last experience in a congregation, my skepticism of them has seriously increased.

The second of my two-part series, this is my presentation based on my what I've witnessed and heard considering these "spiritual leaders." These men are typically held in high regard by most, particularly their congregation. These men claim that they have been sent by the Most High, that they heard from TMH Himself, which is interesting. I'm not talking about all pastors but I am talking about most of them.

It's funny because most religious sects speak out against sorcery, but I think pastors/preachers may be the greatest sorcerers ever. The have the ability to mesmerize, play with the members' emotional heart strings, and downright mindfuck them into believing anything if they're convincing enough. I think they're part of the reason why we have pussified and passive responses (i.e. "forgiving" people who we-- collectively-- have no business forgiving) which I briefly alluded to this in this post.

It has been no secret about these preachers who have robbed the members and have slept with members other than their wives. It's usually the female members, who are typically dressed as if they're in a club. In some cases, it's other men or even doing inappropriate things with children. There can be concrete evidence against this man-- in this case, "man" meaning preachers in general-- yet, people will still defend and support him.

They have the ability to turn people against you. For example, they will project that you are a certain way. What this does in return is create a pre-conceived notion that at least 90 percent of the members will agree with and will usually approach you based on that perception versus finding out for themselves.

I had one who actually made me look like a villain in meeting over my preference of how I wanted to be addressed. That had to be the biggest pile of bullshit ever. It's my fucking name, and he's going to try to dictate how he addresses me? Nah, dude. Anyway, after the meeting, this half-breed bitch gave me a nasty look due to this "pastor" villainizing me.

Part of it is out of fear that they're somehow going against him, and is committing sin at that point. Then there's the dickheads who already don't like you and will side with him just because. There are a few who will understand what you're dealing with or where you're coming from, but they will tell you on the side later. They won't say it front of the group, usually out of that same fear.

The same cunt later told a blatant fucking lie on me, and those (mostly) negroes knew what he was saying was completely untrue, and they sat there and went right along with it. One dumb ass bitch had the audacity to repeat that bullshit in a phone conversation. What really got me was she was one of the people who knew that wasn't true, but like the mindfiucked, cut-throat heifer she was, went along with it.

Part of their witchcraft is convincing people that they heard from the "Most High," "Lord," or whatever title you want to use. Certain things that they say will come to pass, and it will look as if they have this esteemed connection with this great entity, which will invoke fear in many and usually too much respect from many.

Truthfully, it's a matter of experience in regards to knowing, dealing with and reading people, pattern recognition, processing that information, and making a call from there based on how well you know that person and their tendencies. They haven't heard shit from anybody; it's a coincidental scare tactic at best.

In conclusion, I find it quite interesting...and ironic...and hypocritical that they will preach fervently against magic, witchcraft, sorcery-- whatever you want to call it, it's all the same thing-- but then when they step to the pulpit or front of the congregation, it seems they say "Arbra Cadabra" as soon as they open their mouths.

Preaching to the Choir: Part One: The Cause of their Arrogance

Photo Credit: SirTravelALot/ Shutterstock Photos.

I caught wind of Angel Snupnup's YouTube channel in mid-2019. I have been watching his videos more frequently lately, and one of the things that caught my attention about his channel-- then and now-- is his unique takes on life, society and particularly religion. By "unique" I mean while he has a serious, realist approach, he has a way of delivering his points that I find hilarious, especially when it comes to religion.

I started having questions and making different observations concerning religion/religious organizations prior to listening to his channel, plus I'm in the process of unlearning a lot of things I thought to be true, so I already had similar thoughts in terms of some of the things he's putting out there.

Now, I will admit that I'm the "spiritual but not religious" type, and he speaks against that, too, which is fine. I respect his position. While my theory is that there is a Universal Creator, I don't think there's any way this stuff (e.g. nature) just appeared from nowhere, however, I don't believe that people will die and come back as cows and so on. For me, it's based more on the individual development and enlightenment than anything. Besides, I don't try to enforce my convictions on anyone, anyway. I just do my thing and keep going.

By individual development and enlightenment, I'll use meditation as an example. I meditate for the purposes of calmness, focus and relaxation, not to give praise and worship.

Today, I saw a video that inspired this blog post. The video's entitled: Why did God Give Us Life? In his analysis, he talked about the arrogance of this "God" to make people worship and serve him, or else you will be punished and he will send you to hell when it's all said and done. There's other topics he discussed, such as the silliness of people praising and worshipping something that's invisible, and they're prayers are never answered, but I'm focusing on the "arrogant" part for a particular reason.

In previous videos, he has described this entity as a bully, mostly due to the reasons as described above, and also due to his thoughts of why this "God" doesn't come at the devil the way he does others. As I was listening to the video, it made me think perhaps that's why a lot of these preachers are so god damn arrogant and conceited. Perhaps, they get it from their "god" or whatever entity they worship.

I've seen preachers-- that bitch ass at the The Way of Yah, in particular-- who would use the book (or Bible) to manipulate and bully people, and justify their actions. He can talk crazy to you, but if you say something to him-- now you've done it! You've crossed the man of the "Most High." Now, there's a serve punishment you have to face. All of that bullshit is scare tactics, and to keep you at bay when they come at you sideways.

They can treat you and talk to you anyway they please, but want to command and demand all of this god damn respect. They spend half the sermon bragging, ego tripping and putting people on blast they disagree with. They're megalomaniacs and prima donnas; they're so focused on dress, appearance and how they and others look, it's comparable to women.

Hypothetically, let's say what Angel Snupnup is saying is 100 percent true. In that case, I've found the cause of these preachers' arrogance. Like the saying that a child gets their behavior from their parent(s), apparently, they get it from whatever entity they worship.

This is part one of this two-part series. Next, I'm going to talk about despite preachers' crusade against sorcery, they seem to be strange bedfellows.

Repost: Petty: A Poem

In 2018, in my frustration and anger with the bias, two-faced way things were being done when it came to issues during my years at The Way of Yah Synagogue, I posted a poem concerning a situation that took place which was the final straw for me. This led to me being removed from that so-called synagogue.

I'll admit, although I knew anyone could get removed, well on the surface, I was a little stunned when it first happened probably due to being there for so long-- seven years too long, to be exact. As I mentioned in my post "Poking the Bear," I initially apologized, but after doing some reflecting, I realized they were constantly coming at me with sadistic, passive aggressive, goofy stuff, I was merely responding, so why am I apologizing to them?

Since then, I've rescinded that apology, and as a token of taking that apology back, I'm reposting the post that led to my dismissal, which thinking back on it, my only regret was that I posted it on LinkedIn, and although nothing happened concerning LinkedIn, I don't think that was the place to post such a thing.

To their "leader" Henry Smith, If Tim Renfroe is still there, I'm sure he's still verbally tossing your salad. You seem to like yes men/women, and that so-called synagogue is loaded with them. I will say this: if he's still there, and you're this "prophet"-- I know that's not the word you use, but I'm using it for the understanding of others-- that you claim to be, you better watch that boy. If he will sing like a canary for petty stuff like that, imagine what he will do if someone really put the pressure on.

Personally, I don't care what happens to you, I'm just putting that out there in general. The way you treat and disrespect people, whatever your comeuppance is will be exactly what you deserve. I've lost all respect for you.

Now, the repost of my poem, "Petty." (Posted around 10/2018).

So, without further ado, this is my piece, called "Petty."

In all the days of my life,
I've never seen something so small, so insignificant cause so much strife.
In the near 37 years I've been on this planet, I've been told on, reported, and falsely accused of things by others from time-to-time,
But to tell on me for something that's mine?

Wow, dude. Really?
You've just reached the lowest kind of petty.
Knowing the nature of females, there's certain things, albeit still aggravating, I would expect them to do,
But for a man to do such things, to me, is questionable.

Now, it gets dragged on and made bigger than what it is,
Because I stated a preferred way of being addressed,
Your b*tch a** go tell on me like a little kid.

I didn't slander, threaten, or rob anyone,
I didn't plot to round up some hoes,
You just wanted to be a tattle-tale brown-nose.

I hope it was worth it,
I hope you got your merit badge, boy scout,
Or validation for brownie points, whatever you were trying to accomplish,
If I said something detrimental, the action, regardless of my thoughts about it, would've been understood,
Come to think of it, perhaps it was an attempt to make me look bad and make yourself look good.

For me not to acknowledge, I would be remiss,
Just know from the bottom of my heart,
That was some petty, b*tch-made sh*t you did,
And I wouldn't be surprised if you squatted when you took a piss.
 

The Unmitigated Gall

Heading into 2020, there's a few things concerning my experience at that so-called synagogue that I want to get off my chest. I planned on writing this months ago, but they were other matters that came up. As I mentioned in my "Poking the Bear" post, I want to address what made me start to gradually look at their "leader" Henry differently in 2015. Looking back, I realize this dude is a feminine ass bitch, masking in masculinity.

It started with a brother's meeting that year. Henry was asking some of the brothers about marriage. Speaking of which, that's another reason I'm glad to no longer be there, he was one of those negroes trying to brow beat and pressure people into getting married, but then in the same breath, tell them not to rush into a marriage. Go figure.

Anyway, marriage is not anything I'm interested in right now. I'm on the fence at best about that subject, so shaming tactics such as claiming one's trying to avoid responsibility-- which one fake, four-eyed bitch was quick to repeat; she repeated everything that nigger said-- or whatever other goofy shit was not going to change my mind.

Then the subject of what we look for in a woman came up. Long story short, I simply said what I look for a woman is someone who is attractive inwardly and on the outside, I NEVER SAID she had to be a beauty queen. Somehow, I wasn't "being practical" according to him. Till this day, I don't see where I was being impractical. Anyone in their right mind would want someone with a balance of (at least) decent looks and good inner characteristics. I have no problem with a woman who would expect the same from me, and move on if she didn't see that, but the negro was implying that I was being one-sided. No, I wasn't, dumb shit.

He then goes in on my looks. This wasn't the first time he did that, and to me, a man judging another man's looks, especially in the same manner as a woman is highly suspect. Why the fuck he was so concerned about my looks was beyond me. Then he points out a dude in the meeting, saying this guy can get a "beautiful woman." Very wise. This man's supposed to be a preacher, but he's doing instigating bullshit like this.

I figured the dude he singled out would view himself as better at that point. He was empty-headed enough to do it; I can tell because his attitude towards me changed after that meeting. Besides, even if he can get an attractive woman, I doubt if he could keep her. That dude had the IQ of fertilizer.

Then I was asked to name a woman that I find attractive. Looking back, I realized it was a paradox trap; in other words, regardless of what answer I gave, it would've been the wrong answer. However, when people are asked this question, they usually will use a celebrity as a mere example, which is what I simply did. Most people will not mention someone they know personally. This motherfucker took what I said to imply that I wanted this celebrity-- I won't mention her name-- or someone of that caliber, and dragged me for three fucking years about that shit like a messy bitch.

During this feast, I had a few conversations with a woman who makes Lizzo look like Jessica Alba. One thing I've learned about "black" people is that collectively, they're very childish and petty, and a lot of these yardbirds were no different. Just because a man is having a conversation with a woman doesn't mean he's interested in a fucking relationship.

Knowing that I was dealing with mostly childish people, and the fact that this woman was desperate for a relationship, I started keeping my distance but to no avail, because my concerns came to pass. Next thing I knew, I'm getting text messages such as one from a loud mouth coon about her being my woman. I had to correct him on that. He tells me, "You heard what preacher said." No motherfucker, you heard what I said, that's not my woman. I never co-signed that shit.

I figured this bitch was going to try to use Henry's position to trap me into something with her, and she proved me right.She thought she was smarter than me, and she viewed me as weak, which she wasn't the only one but I have way more resolve than people think. I saw her bullshit coming a mile away, and there was no way that shit was going to happen.

One would think that common logic and sense would tell someone if they have to go through that subterfuge to try to get someone, you don't need that person, nor should you want a relationship with that person, but oh well.

When I set the record straight that wasn't the case, I prepared for the inevitable. I know the negro, and whenever they call themselves hooking you up with someone or low-key trying to force someone on you, and you refuse, here comes the shaming language, and Henry didn't disappoint. Like a typical negro, he goes in on my looks (again) during a single's meeting on October of that year.

As I've said before, I saw this coming and I braced myself. This bitch nigger got mad because I refused to take someone he called himself picking for me, when I never asked to be with her in the first fucking place, that was his bright ass idea. He took it upon himself to do that goofy shit. Of course, this would be denied, but I know that's what it was because I had folded and took the chocolate covered Jabba the Hut, it wouldn't have been none of that bullshit.

This told me a lot about what he thought of me and the type of person he really is. He could hurl vitriol and call me ugly all he wants, I still wasn't taking that motherfucker! It was my way of telling him "fuck you" without actually telling him that. I also think part of it was to get a laugh. Try to get me to "take one for the team," launch personal attacks when I refuse, then throw the whole ordeal in my face later, making jokes about the shit.

By the way, Henry, you'll eat a chair before I get an attractive woman? Get the seasoning salt, motherfucker. You don't know me as well as you think you do. You don't know what woman I can or can't get. You made the same mistake most dumb fucks make, and that's look at me and assume stuff.

This also expands into the so-called black community. Somehow, regardless how the woman looks, her size, her attitude or her personality, she can have the pick of the litter and it's okay for her to have standards, but it's a problem when brothers have standards. He's supposed to take whoever he can get, otherwise, be subjected to shaming language. Oh well, I guess we have a problem, then. This ridiculous, hypocritical shit is expected by most sisters in our race, but you have some of these male negroes doing the same thing.

This brings me to the picture in this post. I won't mention the broad's name, but the image should give one an idea of her name. A year later, some of the brothers and sisters had a meaningless discussion by the sound system in the sanctuary. This Shrek looking broad goes on a disgruntled rant, talking about brothers who didn't want the wildebeest I mentioned, then talks about how brothers don't have this and that, but they want this and that. Typical shaming language. Some brothers have to hear about what they have or don't have because they don't want somebody. Fuck you, bitch! You and anybody who's on that bullshit.

Then she uses one dude and whoever those "few" were to try to piss on the other brothers. I'm looking at this cunt, thinking: "Whether I was Warren Buffet or someone on the streets, I still wouldn't look your way." It's usually warth hogs like her who looks like that and have the nerve to talk shit.

Poking the Bear: My Years at the Way of Yah Synagogue

Warning: I will be candid more than usual in this particular post. This stems from years of things that went down in that place that I've held in. To mince words for this wouldn't do it justice.

In some situations, particularly when you fall out with people, they tend to be on some one-sided bullshit. They will tell everything you did or allegedly did, and make you look as if you're the worst person ever, but they won't tell the whole story. Which brings me to the "poking the bear" analogy.

Let's say you have a bear who is being criticized and vilified by others for mauling people. I mean, just taking their heads off. They're calling it "mean," this, that and the third. What they don't tell you is why that was. They fail to mention their (constantly) provoking or "poking" the bear.

It's minding its own business, resting or doing whatever it's doing, not bothering anyone. Then you have some dickheads who, usually because they can, starts fucking with it for no reason other than the aforementioned. They throw rocks and pebbles, poking it with sticks, throwing buckets of water on it.

For a long time, the bear let this goofy shit slide, until one day it became fed up and started thrashing mo'fos, now it's the fucking villain. This is where I will correlate the analogy with a real life situation. I was a part of The Way of Yah Synagogue for seven years, and when a certain situation took place, I never had an opportunity to tell my side of the story, so I will do that here.

I was in a situation where people would come at me with a bunch of fuck shit, and for years, the past five years in particular, I would let it slide, pay it no mind, laugh it off. Let it slide, pay it no mind, laugh it off. This is one of the areas where I'll admit that I fucked up. I was too yielding, too respectful, too humble-- which I intend to touch on in a later blog--there were times  I was on that go along to get along shit.

I'll tell you, that bullshit never works. Apparently, regardless of how they come at you, regardless of what they do, they somehow have the luxury of blaming you. Everybody wins but you, and it goes back to that one-sided bullshit-- and there are many variations of it that I won't discuss here-- that I referred to earlier.

What I realized was their pastor Henry "Tony" Smith was the ringleader in all of this. For years I dealt with sadistic, petty, child-like shit tests, dumb ass, lame ass, repetitive jokes, and the shit wasn't funny. If he was going to constantly clown me about something at least be funny. The slander, constantly being put down, overkill of criticism, taking things I say, putting his own spin on it, project or insinuate something other than what I was actually saying, dragging the shit on and on for years like a messy bitch!

In reference to what I mentioned a few paragraphs above, the more I let the bullshit slide, the worse it became. People mistook my patience for weakness and took me for a pushover. Apparently, when they were doing what they were doing, not only was it okay, it was justified. I'm being told that I need to "relax," I'm this, that and the third. Typically, whenever I had an issue with someone, regardless of what they did or how they came at me, it was (somehow) always my fault, I was the one being criticized.

If I initiated something and they dished it back out and I had an issue with it, I wholeheartedly agree that would be hypocritical. They were coming at me with the bullshit and nothing was being said to those motherfuckers but something was always being said to me.

I was beyond frustrated and infuriated with the way things were being done. The final straw was this thing of apparently wanting to dictate how they addressed me. As petty or minor as this may seem to some people-- which is fine, people are entitled to their opinion-- for me, it was a matter of respect or the lack thereof.

If someone is telling me how they prefer to be addressed, I would respect their mind. I'm not going to criticize and villainize them over it. Then I thought, maybe I am making too of a big deal out of it. There were bigger issues than that. Again, I fucked up. Never again. It was a strong reminder of meaning what you say and saying what you mean. If people have a problem with it, that's their fucking problem. Believe or not, we had a whole meeting about this. It's my fucking name, why the fuck were we even having that discussion?!

I mentioned it to someone about how I was addressed, and a stuttering Memphis cunt acted as if I committed some "cardinal sin" and decided to report me. That was another thing, it got to the point where everything I did or said, some fuck nigger (male or female) was going tell on me. Now I know what Leah Remini felt like, as she talked about this during her years serving in a religion in her book, Troublemaker.

Long story short, I addressed it publicly and you would've thought I shot somebody. I didn't say any names or give any affiliations. I'm being told what I should've done, which in principle I agree, but seeing that I would've been blamed anyway, why the fuck say anything? It would've fell on deaf ears, followed by booty ass jokes. If one tells someone how they prefer to be addressed and you continue to address them they way you want to, it shows a lack of respect for that person. Albeit, low-key, but that's what it is.

It's amazing because for years, all of the goofy, sucker shit they were doing, all of the shots that were taken at me, the one time I get fed up and swung back, I have to hear all this shit about what I should've done and what's not going to be tolerated. Funny, where was this when they were doing the shit they were doing? I guess I was supposed to sit there and "tolerate" their bullshit, which again was part of where I fucked up because I tolerated it for too long. What I did was called "messy junk," but that bullshit they were doing wasn't? Yeah, okay.

Of course, they took a screenshot of my post for others to see. No surprise there, their "leader," Henry-- he wouldn't show me respect and address me the way I asked, so why I should show him any respect-- would go out of his way to put me on blast. He misspelled my last name, which I thought was funny later. I thought: Damn, if you're going to out me like that, at least spell my name correctly. They can take a screenshot of my middle finger while they're at it.

I know most of them wouldn't understand, and they would probably view this as a cop-out, which doesn't matter to me at this point, but as a writer, we tend to use our materials as outlets to express ourselves, and I don't apologize for that. As far as the person I aimed that "poem" at, I still think he's a brown nosing bitch.

Quick side note: Their "leader" would sometimes do what most would call "prophecy" about someone among them being the one to betray the fold and have him done in. The way the brown noser tattletales, it wouldn't surprise me if it's him.

Anyway, the only reason I apologized was because at that particular time, I was still under the impression that not having a watchman for my soul, being "disconnected" from the "body" put my chances of entering into the Kingdom in serious jeopardy, so at that time I was holding on to the hope of possibly returning. Then it dawned on me that the same person who was supposed to be my leader, guide and "watchman" for my soul was the main one who showed me no respect and did some of the most sadistic, grimy shit.

It dawned on me, they were fucking with me; I did nothing to them, so what the fuck did I apologize for? That's a rhetorical question; I answered that three paragraphs ago. As a matter of fact, as of right now, I take back that apology.

Anyway, I came to my senses and realized, why would I want to sit under the leadership of someone who clearly doesn't respect me? He would go out of his way to put me down, take punk ass cheap shots, criticize, then antagonize me. To give an analogy of the last thing I mentioned, it was like someone with a knee injury going to the doctor and he diagnoses specifically what the issue is with the knee, then turns around and kicks the person in the very same knee. That's the type of stupid shit he would do. In some cases, this bullshit was chalked up to "laughing and having fun."

Not excusing the other dickheads, but they would watch him and follow suit. It's never okay to be disrespected, to accept disrespect or to be disrespectful, I don't care who they are. No one has the right to disrespect you!

That reminds of the Sodomite that's in there. Well, I don't know if he's still there, but he was before I was removed. I was trying really hard not to mention names, but I will pinpoint this bastard. One night after a service, apparently some of my chest hairs was showing from the top of my dress shirt. This faggot, Daniel Anderson, noticed it, walks upon me and unbottons the top of my shirt, talking about, "Let it all hang out."

This another example of what I mean when I say the disrespect and disregard people have for certain people in there is unreal. Knowing him, he probably called himself clowning around, but as a man, certain things shouldn't cross your mind to say or do to another man, joking or not. I don't think he would do that gay ass shit to any other man in there, but saw fit to do that to me.

This was one of those defining moments for me. Although I don't always think this is the case, some people are just assholes, but I will say usually there's something about someone that gives people a preconceived notion that they can come at them a certain way, and I seem to give some people that impression. That something about me will correct that problem. Never again. I'm going to get my respect, one way or another.

Long story short, I'll admit, I got him back on my terms. I knew had I said something, it would've been the same song about me being "uptight," "sensitive," and all that other bullshit. I was already fed up with the bullshit pattern of being called out, criticized and blamed for their bullshit, for shit that they were doing, and that would've been my breaking point had I heard that, so I decided to take matter into my own hands. It caught me off guard; I wasn't expecting a so-called straight man to do some gay ass shit like that. My only regret was that I didn't deck his ass the moment he did it.

Then Henry accused me of only speaking to one person, which was a fucking lie. This shows how a lot of negroes will leave you hanging: there were people sitting in that meeting that knew god damn well that shit he said wasn't true, and sat their "black" asses up there and went right along with it. Well, aside from one person who raised his hand when I was asked who else do I speak to.

No, I wasn't in everybody's face-- and I didn't have to be-- because I didn't like how some of them operated. However, I still spoke to them-- albeit it was small talk. I attended this congregation for seven years, 100-something people passing through there, and I'm going to speak to one person and one person only? Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit!

There were several people I spoke to on a consistent basis. It's funny because when I was actively reaching out to people via calling or text, people were barely responding or I got put on blast for "calling too much," when I decided to curtail it, now I only speak to one person. You see how negroes will try to flip shit on you?

Granted, the one person this negro was referring to was one of the few who showed me respect, and treated me like a person, not a fucking court jester or as if I was less than him, so in a way, I had every right to speak to only him if I wanted to, but that wasn't the case.

The lie--which he told more than once--along with some of the grimy, sadistic shit he did, is what made me gradually look at him differently and question the validity of his claim that he's sent of the Most High. Actually, I gradually started to look at him differently in 2015, which I'll go into more detail in another post, but that stronghold (i.e. the impression I mentioned earlier) was still there, so my mindset was to hang in there despite the bullshit.

Well, I'll give a preview of what made me start to view him differently that particular year. This cunt got mad and hurled ad hominem attacks and pathetic attempts of shaming language-- like a typical negro when you refuse someone they try to "hook you up" with-- because I wouldn't take some fat, ugly bitch who makes Lizzo look like Jessica Alba.

This punk bitch got mad at me when I didn't ask to be fixed with her to begin with. That was his bright ass idea; he took it upon himself to call himself picking her for me, so who's fault is that? I know this would be denied, but I guarantee had I allowed him and/or them to pressure or shame me into taking her, it wouldn't have been none of that bullshit.

He trashed my looks every chance he got, which I think a man who judges another man's looks in the same manner as women is highly suspect to me. He could've called me whatever he wanted to, that bullshit wasn't happening. Oh, and by the way Henry, you'll eat a chair before I get an attractive woman? Get the seasoning salt, motherfucker! You don't know me as well as you think you do. You don't know who I can or can't pull. You made the same mistake other fuckers make, look at me and assume stuff.

I haven't watched another livestream or sermon since. Well, actually, when I gradually started to see who he really was, I started to tune him out little-by-little shortly before I was removed. This man is supposed to be sent by the Most High and to be the arrogant, sadistic, narcissistic prick that he is made it hard for me to take him seriously anymore. "Ra'ah." Negro, please. More like Ra'asshole. I don't hate him--who am I kidding? I can't stand that motherfucker. I don't want to see his fucking face. I've been skeptical of most pastors for a long time, but after that experience, my skepticism has seriously increased.

He projected a lot as well. He would call people out for being quick to anger when he was quick-tempered. He would call people out for being messy when he was biggest instigator in the place. I remember once he mentioned how people would tell him he has a chip on his shoulder, and he would reply that he has a whole tree, yet, if he thought someone else had a chip on their shoulder, he would criticize them. Not only is that projecting, but it is quite hypocritical.

He would ask inappropriate questions-- well, to me they were. I find it quite weird and questionable for a man to ask another man what size breasts he prefers on a woman. Now, some men might read this and find this to be normal, but I would find that normal if a woman asks me that. From a man? That's fucking sick! He kept asking me that one time, and I'm looking at him thinking, "what the fuck is wrong with this nigger?" A part of it was-- true to his sadistic, antagonistic nature-- him trying to get on my nerves and push my buttons, but I still found it to be inappropriate and sick.

He would use the book (or Bible) to justify his actions and to low-key bully people. He could talk greasy to you, but if you say something to him, now you're "going against the man of the Most High," or he would go on this goofy street bravado, yet, would get on members if they did or said something that resembled street life.

Also, I will mention that he did provide help when I asked for it-- which I tried to keep to a minimum because I don't like asking people for help-- only to low-key throw it in my face later, so how good was that help? Stuff like that is one of the main reasons why I don't like asking people for help, that and if I can take care of something myself, I will.

I will say this experience taught me some things about myself and gave me some strong reminders. One of the things I've learned was I'd rather be respected than liked/loved. People can like or love you and still not have any respect for you. There's nothing wrong with being liked and/or loved, as a matter of fact, to have all three is a plus, but specifically, of these three, I'd rather be respected.

I got strong reminders to be mindful of what I tolerate, how I treat people and being careful of whom you stick your neck out for. People who I thought were my friends-- as a matter of fact, we were supposed to be a family, closer than a family-- did me some of the most shady shit ever. Negroes will greet you, shake your hand, call you "brother" or "ahky," only to be lying in wait to blindside you.

Yes, like any other family, there will be misunderstanding and disagreements, but according to the concept of how we were supposed to operate and treat each other, there was supposed to be a difference, and for the most part, they were no different than people on the outside. I lost the desire to (possibly) return. Not saying that I would've allowed to come back, I'm saying that I discarded the thought of even asking about it. It's too one-sided and two-faced in that place.

Apparently, you're supposed to bend over and let them kick you in the ass and be glad about them doing it, otherwise, it's a problem. Well, I have a serious problem with that, and I'm going to get my respect, one way or another. That would've been my attitude if I was allowed to return, and it's my mindset moving forward.

Another issue I think they had with me was my personality, although I don't think they would admit it. They reminded of a certain sector of negroes who push you away because in their petty minds, you don't add up to a certain code of "blackness" because you don't talk or act a certain way.

People say, "If I think something is funny, I'm gonna laugh," or "Anybody can get it." Fair enough. However, likewise, to the first point, if I don't think something is funny, I'm not going to laugh. To the second, it's amazing how people say "anybody can get it" until the joke is on them.

If you don't laugh at the repetitive, lame jokes, you hear something silly such as: "I like to laugh and have fun; I'm not uptight." So, a person is "uptight" because they don't find the booty ass jokes funny? Ain't that some shit? People want you to respect and accept them for who they are but in the same breath, want you to change. Not change for the better, but more to their liking, and I refuse to do that. I've had it with people who are on that bullshit. That's selfish, condescending and disrespectful to the other person.

As far as their "leader" goes, he has said before in sermons how he loves control and has described his personality as "domineering," so again I put some fault on myself for apparently overlooking it. I can be a good lieutenant; I can follow instructions and take correction, but when someone is controlling and/or verbally abusive and disrespectful, I have a serious problem with that.

The irony of it is he did some of the very same things to his people that he rant and raved about whitey doing, such as the narcissistic traits and the assassinating one's character, particularly when you don't want to comply with his program (e.g. laugh at his corny jokes) or if he disagrees with you. Unfortunately, I've noticed this with a lot of negroes, but that's a subject for another blog.

To be fair, there are some things I've learned from him, some things he said/taught that still resonates with me, but one of the greatest things I've learned from him-- and I learned this the hard way-- is the detriment of showing someone too much respect, and by that I mean showing someone respect who doesn't respect you. Financially, it was a complete waste of time. The money I spent on tithing, plane flights and bus rides to go out there, I could've invested elsewhere.

As I told him in one of my final messages to him, I understood his decision to remove me. I'm not going to tolerate someone disrespecting me and trying to control me. I didn't see it that way when it first happened, but thinking back, this thing of treating people any kind of way, addressing me the way he wanted to address me...yeah, it was best that we parted ways. The more I think about it, the more I'm glad he decided to remove me. It was best that I went on about my business, I'll just say that. I was tired of the disrespect; the constant mockery, sneak dissing and I was tired of their "leader" making everything my fault-- regardless of how someone came at me, I was called out and criticized.

The last question he asked me was if I can't along with people, how am I going to make it? As always, putting the fault on me. Well, if getting along with people means I have to accept them treating me any kind of way, I guess I won't be getting along many, will I? It amazes me how people want all of this respect, yet disrespect others.

I actually predicted this would happen. Despite the "perfection" doctrine that was and probably still is being taught, there were people doing the very things that went against what Henry taught (e.g. lying, fornicating-- his sons being some of the culprits of the latter) and not a damn thing happened to most of them. A verbal correction or a temporary removal from some auxiliary at best. However, I remember thinking, with all of this and how they were coming at me, the moment I decide to clap back, I'll be out of there in a flash, and I was correct. Once again, the more I think about it, the more I'm glad to be out of there.

In retrospect, I should've left in 2013. When his daughter became of age she got the fuck out of there, and I should've done the same thing. After that experience, I see why some people don't fool with religion at all or lose faith and walk away from the whole thing. I never thought in a million years I'd say this, but I'd rather be a Buddhist than step foot in that shit hole again. There were a few people who left or was removed who said they will never step foot in another religious organization again after that experience. Honestly, I'm done with religion myself. My soul feels so much better since I came out of that bullshit!

Update (7/8/21): I found out recently that two members passed away since my removal. I'm not sure when it happened because it wasn't said, at least I don't recall it being said, but I will say that I think they're better off where they are versus continuing to waste their lives in that shit hole. Also, I will include other posts in the links below that I've written concerning situations I dealt with at the TWOY because all of this will be included in the book.

Dirty Dog: A Bitch Named Lynita Newson

"You'll Find Out!" A Tales from the Darkside Correaltion

Preaching to the Choir Series:

Part One: The Cause of Their Arrogance

Part Two: The Biggest Sorcerers Ever?

Part Three: The Preacher's Parrots

Part Four: The Yes-Men

To Elijah: You Didn't Dodge a Bullet, You Dodged a Missile

You Didn't Dodge a Bullet, You Dodged a Missile, Part Two

Rashida Hodge: A Pterodactyl